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Ifn ya wemember I had dat picture of me when I furst got to dis den wail dat ain't me no more an I just wanna furget dat life. I'm Evelyn da bestest counter surfer in da werl. Der ain't no food dat I can't get on da counter. 

I wanna tail all you rescue hoomins out der dat I lub what yer doin givin dogs anutter chance at life, I knows I pawreciate da life I have here, more so den des dogs dat hab lived here fureber. I just gotta maul Dad ebery day cause I pawreciate it here an I crave the love dat is showed me. 

As ya can see here I'm givin Dad some lovin fur givin me a good home.

(Sugar) no you ain't yer lickin gravy off his beard we ain't stoopid.

Wail eben if he didn't hab gravy on his beard I'd give him lovin.

One thin I do dat is bad is dat I gets in wif da baby goats an whale nuff woofed bout dat but ya see Dad had to put up a bitin fence to keep me out. I wanna tail ya dat dis bitin fence sure will kick yer butt ifn ya touch it, I don't mess wif da fence no more.  

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