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CUPID CHRONICLE 21

 

Now dis awl happened in 1836 an it's da truf, cordin to my Hypnopottomist.
I was wif my hoomin Almeron Dickinson an we was tired of eatin fajitas an
beans all da times, wail least he was heck I could eat fajitas all day long.
Ennyways he wanted to eat some good Merican foods like spaghetti an fried
rice but da mexican government said no ya has to eat our food. So da
Texicans said how bout we pawlay a game of dominoes an see who wins, wail
dey said no so we went to war wif Mexico fur our rite to eat enny kinda food
we wanted to. We lives in a nice duplex just outside of San Antonio so when
dey asked fur volunteers to fight at da Alamo me an my hoomins went.
I had a great time fur a while cause der was Davey Crockets Coon Hound der
an Travis's Springer Spaniel an Jim Bowie's French Poodle an we just had
lots of fun cept we wasn't loud to poop up on the wall cause dey said der
was gonna be lots of runrunrunin round up there an dey didn't want to step
in no dog poop.
Wail den one day we woke up an smelled sumpin funny an we went up on da wall
an der was a gazillion Mexicans out der, da weason fur da funny smell was
cause dey was all f*rtin furom dem beans dey all ate. Col. Travis seein all
these Mexicans node der was gonna be a fight an he went down an drew a line
in da dirt an said ifn yer wif me yer wif me an cross da line an ya nose
every body crossed da line cept Louis Rose an his ccccat, dey said dat he
had to take his ccccat to the TED's but we nose he didn't. Now Jim Bowie's
French Poodle didn't wanna cross da line cause she just had her fur done an
didn't want to get it messed up but when Jim pulled a Treat out of his
pocket she went to get da Treat, stoooopid dog.
Wail all da hoomins in The Alamo was gettin hungry so they said dey had a
job fur me, dey called out to the Burger King cross da street furom The
Alamo an ordered Burgers fur 190 an da Burger King said der was no way dey
could deliver dat menny so dey asked me ifn I would go get dem. I ranranran
as fast as I could, course I did sum Sheltie spins long da ways an dodgded
bulletts an ran ober sleepin Mexican soldiers an stuff an brought back all
dem burgers. Ya nose what I gots fur it, brown rocks, do ya nose how hard it
was to smell all dem burgers an not eat dem. Dats why if food gets to my
high I eat it, no matta ifn it's da hoomins food out what.
Den came March 6th an all dem Mexican soldiers came an went ober da wall an
killed most of all the defenders of The Alamo cept a few. I fought hard
jumpin up on da soldiers an pushin dem off da wall an trytin to pawtect all
the Texicans an when I seen dey was goin where my female hoomin was I went
in der to pawtect her an seein how brave I was dey let me leaf wif Susanna
Dickinson. Ifn ya wanna read more bout The Alamo you can go to
http://www.thealamo.org/ or to
http://www.thehistorynet.com/WildWest/articles/02962_text.htm .

"C"

CUPID CHRONICLE 22

Ok yer pawbably wunnerin what happened to dis dog hero of The Alamo, wail
I'm gonna tail ya.
Dis dog an his hoomin was goin to Gonzales an came cross some Texican scouts
an dey took us to see General Sam Hooston an I woofed to his dog what
happened an dey let me go wif dem cause I was good at headin da cows, da
sheeps an fur gettin burgers. Dey kept runrunrunin furom Santa Anna an goin
all ober Texas, I wasn't to crazy bout crossin no rivers an had to be
carried cross dem. Den we herd bout da defeat of Goliad an dat made da
Texicans more an more mad an dey wanted to fight but Hooston didn't wanna
fight just yet cause he called Miss Cleo up an she tole him her Tarot cards
said not to fight til dey gots to San Jacinto. Texas Pawresident Burnet
wasn't to happy an sent a message to Hooston an tole him to fight, wail
Hooston who watched da History Channel all da times node better an he went
to the coast cause it was spring vacation an he wanted see some babes an
have some good sea food. Den we went travelin close to Louisana an we herd
dat Santa Anna burned down da town of Harrisburg an was camped close by.
Wail den we node he was in San jacinto just like Miss Cleo said an we got
set fur battle. I got sent in befur da battle fur two reasons, one cause I
could distract dem (cause I was so cute) an cause bein a Sheltie General
Hooston node I would bark at eberythin an give way their pawsition. So I
went into da Mexican camp an ran round an pawlayed wif the Mexican soldiers
an tired dem out so they would take a nap an den I went into Santa Anna's
tent. Dats when General Hooston attacked an I went GRRRRRRRR to Santa Anna
so he wouldn't gather his Army to fight. All da Mexican soldiers was sleepin
an berry surprised by da attack an General Hooston won da battle an I of
course was da hero. Ya I nose what dey say bout da Yellow Rose but it wasn't
a woman at all it was me but dey didn't want to give no credit to no dog ya
see. I did kinda get credit ya see cause my name was Lone Star an dey named
Texas da Lone Star State after me.
Ifn ya want to read more bout This ya can go to
http://www.tamu.edu/ccbn/dewitt/batsanjacinto.htm

"C"


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